{"id":1309,"date":"2021-07-13T05:16:00","date_gmt":"2021-07-13T05:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/?p=1309"},"modified":"2021-05-18T05:17:55","modified_gmt":"2021-05-18T05:17:55","slug":"talk-about-money-in-a-new-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/talk-about-money-in-a-new-relationship\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Talk About Money In A New Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Don\u2019t want to talk about money in a new relationship? That\u2019s perfectly understandable. Frankly, money matters aren\u2019t romantic or sexy at all. Who wants to talk about credit scores and savings while you\u2019re still catching feelings from your first date, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many of us view money as a taboo topic, even until now. Some of us were raised to think so. Others are just simply uncomfortable about this somber subject. Despite the internet age being open to most things, we still can\u2019t help but feel a little queasy whenever someone brings it up. It\u2019s that bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thing is, you two are going to have to talk about it sooner rather than later. If you two come from different financial backgrounds, this becomes even more necessary. Keeping quiet about money can have long-term consequences\u2014especially when bills start to show up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Financial planner and Principal Financial Group assistant director believes in the importance of financial honesty. \u201cWhen your relationship is getting more serious, it\u2019s time to have a more frank talk about money. It won\u2019t always be easy, but addressing the difficult conversation will be critical to establishing a strong foundation for your future together,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fact that money triggers relationship stresses makes this already tricky subject matter even more brutal to approach. Relationships alone are challenging. Add finances into that mix, and things become more complicated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

With that said, how can we start that conversation? How soon is too soon, anyway?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start the money discourse through these ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Get the ball rolling early<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

By early, we don\u2019t mean talking about it after the second or third date, of course. Imagine how awkward it would be if one of you suddenly pop in with the money questions. Cue the cringe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As stressful as this sounds, you may want to get money discussions in as early as your first few months together. Take advantage of the honeymoon stage\u2019s euphoria and start from there. You\u2019ll be surprised at your discoveries if you do this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Talking about a serious matter (in this case, money) while you\u2019re still on a blissful high allows the two of you to be honest about your thoughts and feelings without the nastiness. It helps you avoid massive curveballs too. Let\u2019s say you\u2019ve opened up about that student debt you\u2019re still paying off. Since you\u2019ve been honest about your money from the jump, you\u2019ll know what to expect from your partner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The conversations don\u2019t have to be deep. After all, the two of you are still starting out and can\u2019t even buy a couch together yet. You can always start with simple things, like date night budgets and future travel destinations you\u2019re saving up for. Not only do you gain some insight into your partner\u2019s finances, but you\u2019ll also get to know them as a person as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Be strategic<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t shoehorn money into every conversation. You may have gotten past the initial hump, but the discomfort\u2019s still there. Maybe your partner\u2019s still trying to get over the awkwardness. Try to ease things by fine-tuning your timing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to get started on the money talks, don\u2019t do it out of the blue. If he or she is stressed, for example, it would be best not to disturb and trigger him or her just to get a reaction or an answer. Wait until the atmosphere calms down and relaxes to get answers. You don\u2019t want to start a fight (or worse, break up).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Want more casual approaches? Here\u2019s one: try weaving money into the conversation when you\u2019re talking about personal life goals. Things like career changes and relocations require money, so it\u2019s only natural to bring it up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Approach #2: go down the pop culture route. Let\u2019s say you\u2019ve seen an award-winning flick revolving around money. Bring that up and work from there. You\u2019ll be pleasantly surprised at just how natural your conversation is when you start from an interesting jumping point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Regardless of your approach, please remember that timing is indeed everything. Financial health takes time, so you two shouldn\u2019t rush into things by talking money right away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Find common ground<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Men and women aren\u2019t always on the same page when it comes to a ton of things. Money is no exception. However, finding common ground on money matters isn\u2019t impossible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you two have different shopping habits, it\u2019s not the end of the world. Avoid future disasters by talking about them. Get to know each other\u2019s financial practices and see if the two can coexist. If it does, that\u2019s great! But if it doesn\u2019t, you two should meet halfway and look for compromises. Honesty is the best policy here, so the two of you shouldn\u2019t weasel yourselves out of this conversation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Empyrion Wealth and Management president and founder Kimberly Foss encourages transparency between couples. \u201cSome people are spenders, and some are savers. This might seem harmless with small-scale purchases, but it will be a hurdle to overcome when financial obligations and necessities come into play]. Similar to discussions about disclosing debt, honest communication about your attitude toward money can bring understanding and harmony to financial decisions,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t want money to be the thing that tears you two apart. Spare your relationship from the financial (and emotional) heartbreak by meeting in the middle. Ask yourselves the hard and honest questions to establish security.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read more: 10 Virtual Date Ideas to Keep Your Relationship Alive<\/a><\/h6>\n\n\n\n

4. Paint a picture of your financial future<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Now that you two are open about talking money, you can now get to the specifics. You can bring up subjects like debts, financial perspectives, and budgeting tactics. As you get more comfortable, you\u2019ll find yourselves naturally revealing financial information you usually wouldn\u2019t share.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember the adage of being safe as opposed to being sorry? In these uncertain times, you can never be too careful\u2014especially when it comes to money. The Private Client Reserve\u2019s Liz Deziel recommends couples talk about these matters in their financial conversations:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  • Credit histories and scores<\/li>
  • Familial financial obligations<\/li>
  • Incomes<\/li>
  • Assets<\/li>
  • Debts<\/li>
  • Savings and debt goals<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    Managing all these is one thing. But talking about them is another story completely. It\u2019s only natural to feel uneasy when bringing them up, so don\u2019t get too stressed. Be 100% honest with your partner when mentioning the above topics, and don\u2019t get defensive. When either of you has questions, raise them respectfully. Pointing fingers usually don\u2019t end well.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    If you\u2019ve read and heard enough new relationship tips both on and offline, you know better than to lie about things like these. Establishing transparency this early on will make things a lot less stressful for the both of you. Trust us. Honesty is integral when you talk about money in a new relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    5. Tick a few boxes before moving in together<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
    \"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    Moving in together is a game-changer. It\u2019s like taking the tape and bubble wrap out of a package: something is bound to break if you aren\u2019t careful with it. In this case, your relationship may suffer if you don\u2019t think this move through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Brace yourself for whatever you\u2019ll have to witness. You\u2019ll get to see the good, the bad, and the ugly of your relationship when you talk about money in a new relationship. And because it\u2019s a big deal, this decision shouldn\u2019t be decided on a whim. You can\u2019t dance around the fact that money will be involved here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Living under one roof means you\u2019ll have to share expenses. You two will find yourselves asking these questions (and a few others): <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    • Will you two split the bills? <\/li>
    • Will you create unique arrangements? <\/li>
    • Do you have to kill your separate accounts? <\/li>
    • Are joint accounts an option?<\/li>
    • Who\u2019s in charge of the finances?<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      Money arrangements are part of the moving-in-together deal. You two should figure out who\u2019ll handle what to avoid future troubles in paradise. You can make a \u201cyours, mine, and ours\u201d list to keep tabs on your money. Since you don\u2019t have the same legal protections as married couples have, keeping track of your finances is necessary\u2014especially in case of breakups.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      6. Add earning into the mix<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
      \"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

      When we talk about money in a new relationship, many of us focus on penny-pinching tips. We\u2019re not saying it\u2019s a bad thing\u2014the advantages of saving money outweigh its cons. However, we tend to leave out discussions on how to earn it.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      Let\u2019s say you two are in different situations, career-wise. You\u2019re working a decent-paying job that\u2019s enough to pay the bills while your partner is raking in on the cash through his high-paying gig. You two can share about how you earn your money so that you\u2019ll understand each other\u2019s relationship with finances. Having this talk in your relationship\u2019s early stages prepares you for unpredictable scenarios, such as:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

      • Losing a job<\/li>
      • Returning to school\/pursuing another degree<\/li>
      • Becoming a stay-at-home parent<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

        There\u2019s no telling what tomorrow holds for both your relationship and finances. Knowing your partner\u2019s practices, thoughts, and feelings about each other\u2019s earnings can help you both in planning for your future together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        7. No imposing allowed!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
        \"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

        If you\u2019ve got your money matters figured out, that\u2019s great! However, it doesn\u2019t mean that your partner has to follow your tactics to the tee. What if he or she isn\u2019t into cryptocurrency and credit cards?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Financial space exists in relationships, even if you two have joint accounts. Having financial freedom can help you two ugly fights and resentments. Besides, who wants their partners to breathe down on their necks when it comes to personal savings? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Don\u2019t convince them to do something they\u2019re not comfortable with. Yes, you want what\u2019s best for your partner\u2019s financial health. But, some ideas can be extreme for them. If you two understand what works for each other, you\u2019ll be fine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        Talking about money is never easy in relationships\u2014especially if you two are still starting out. Tread carefully with trust and transparency if you choose to talk about money in a new relationship. Good luck!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        Don\u2019t want to talk about money in a new relationship? That\u2019s perfectly understandable. Frankly, money matters aren\u2019t romantic or sexy at all. Who wants to talk about credit scores and savings while you\u2019re still catching feelings from your first date, right? Many of us view money as a taboo topic, even until now. Some of us were raised to think so. Others are just simply uncomfortable about this somber subject. Despite the internet age being open to most things, we still can\u2019t help but feel a little queasy whenever someone brings it up. It\u2019s that bad. The thing is, you two are going to have to talk about it sooner rather than later. If you two come from different financial backgrounds, this becomes even more necessary. Keeping quiet about money can have long-term consequences\u2014especially when bills start to show up.  Financial planner and Principal Financial Group assistant director believes in the importance of financial honesty. \u201cWhen your relationship is getting more serious, it\u2019s time to have a more frank talk about money. It won\u2019t always be easy, but addressing the difficult conversation will be critical to establishing a strong foundation for your future together,\u201d she says. The fact that money triggers relationship stresses makes this already tricky subject matter even more brutal to approach. Relationships alone are challenging. Add finances into that mix, and things become more complicated.  With that said, how can we start that conversation? How soon is too soon, anyway? Start the money discourse through these ways. 1. Get the ball rolling early By early, we don\u2019t mean talking about it after the second or third date, of course. Imagine how awkward it would be if one of you suddenly pop in with the money questions. Cue the cringe. As stressful as this sounds, you may want to get money discussions in as early as your first few months together. Take advantage of the honeymoon stage\u2019s euphoria and start from there. You\u2019ll be surprised at your discoveries if you do this. Talking about a serious matter (in this case, money) while you\u2019re still on a blissful high allows the two of you to be honest about your thoughts and feelings without the nastiness. It helps you avoid massive curveballs too. Let\u2019s say you\u2019ve opened up about that student debt you\u2019re still paying off. Since you\u2019ve been honest about your money from the jump, you\u2019ll know what to expect from your partner.  The conversations don\u2019t have to be deep. After all, the two of you are still starting out and can\u2019t even buy a couch together yet. You can always start with simple things, like date night budgets and future travel destinations you\u2019re saving up for. Not only do you gain some insight into your partner\u2019s finances, but you\u2019ll also get to know them as a person as well. 2. Be strategic Don\u2019t shoehorn money into every conversation. You may have gotten past the initial hump, but the discomfort\u2019s still there. Maybe your partner\u2019s still trying to get over the awkwardness. Try to ease things by fine-tuning your timing. If you want to get started on the money talks, don\u2019t do it out of the blue. If he or she is stressed, for example, it would be best not to disturb and trigger him or her just to get a reaction or an answer. Wait until the atmosphere calms down and relaxes to get answers. You don\u2019t want to start a fight (or worse, break up). Want more casual approaches? Here\u2019s one: try weaving money into the conversation when you\u2019re talking about personal life goals. Things like career changes and relocations require money, so it\u2019s only natural to bring it up. Approach #2: go down the pop culture route. Let\u2019s say you\u2019ve seen an award-winning flick revolving around money. Bring that up and work from there. You\u2019ll be pleasantly surprised at just how natural your conversation is when you start from an interesting jumping point. Regardless of your approach, please remember that timing is indeed everything. Financial health takes time, so you two shouldn\u2019t rush into things by talking money right away. 3. Find common ground Men and women aren\u2019t always on the same page when it comes to a ton of things. Money is no exception. However, finding common ground on money matters isn\u2019t impossible. If you two have different shopping habits, it\u2019s not the end of the world. Avoid future disasters by talking about them. Get to know each other\u2019s financial practices and see if the two can coexist. If it does, that\u2019s great! But if it doesn\u2019t, you two should meet halfway and look for compromises. Honesty is the best policy here, so the two of you shouldn\u2019t weasel yourselves out of this conversation.  Empyrion Wealth and Management president and founder Kimberly Foss encourages transparency between couples. \u201cSome people are spenders, and some are savers. This might seem harmless with small-scale purchases, but it will be a hurdle to overcome when financial obligations and necessities come into play]. Similar to discussions about disclosing debt, honest communication about your attitude toward money can bring understanding and harmony to financial decisions,\u201d she says. You don\u2019t want money to be the thing that tears you two apart. Spare your relationship from the financial (and emotional) heartbreak by meeting in the middle. Ask yourselves the hard and honest questions to establish security. Read more: 10 Virtual Date Ideas to Keep Your Relationship Alive 4. Paint a picture of your financial future Now that you two are open about talking money, you can now get to the specifics. You can bring up subjects like debts, financial perspectives, and budgeting tactics. As you get more comfortable, you\u2019ll find yourselves naturally revealing financial information you usually wouldn\u2019t share. Remember the adage of being safe as opposed to being sorry? In these uncertain times, you can never be too careful\u2014especially when it comes to money. The Private Client Reserve\u2019s Liz Deziel recommends couples talk about these matters in their financial conversations: Credit histories and scores Familial financial obligations Incomes Assets Debts Savings and debt goals Managing all these is one thing. But talking about them is another story completely. It\u2019s only natural to feel uneasy when bringing them up, so don\u2019t get too stressed. Be 100% honest with your partner when mentioning the above topics, and don\u2019t get defensive. When either of you has questions, raise them respectfully. Pointing fingers usually don\u2019t end well.   If you\u2019ve read and heard enough new relationship tips both on and offline, you know better than to lie about things like these. Establishing transparency this early on will make things a lot less stressful for the both of you. Trust us. Honesty is integral when you talk about money in a new relationship. 5. Tick a few boxes before moving in together Moving in together is a game-changer. It\u2019s like taking the tape and bubble wrap out of a package: something is bound to break if you aren\u2019t careful with it. In this case, your relationship may suffer if you don\u2019t think this move through. Brace yourself for whatever you\u2019ll have to witness. You\u2019ll get to see the good, the bad, and the ugly of your relationship when you talk about money in a new relationship. And because it\u2019s a big deal, this decision shouldn\u2019t be decided on a whim. You can\u2019t dance around the fact that money will be involved here. Living under one roof means you\u2019ll have to share expenses. You two will find yourselves asking these questions (and a few others):  Will you two split the bills?  Will you create unique arrangements?  Do you have to kill your separate accounts?  Are joint accounts an option? Who\u2019s in charge of the finances? Money arrangements are part of the moving-in-together deal. You two should figure out who\u2019ll handle what to avoid future troubles in paradise. You can make a \u201cyours, mine, and ours\u201d list to keep tabs on your money. Since you don\u2019t have the same legal protections as married couples have, keeping track of your finances is necessary\u2014especially in case of breakups. 6. Add earning into the mix When we talk about money in a new relationship, many of us focus on penny-pinching tips. We\u2019re not saying it\u2019s a bad thing\u2014the advantages of saving money outweigh its cons. However, we tend to leave out discussions on how to earn it.\u00a0 Let\u2019s say you two are in different situations, career-wise. You\u2019re working a decent-paying job that\u2019s enough to pay the bills while your partner is raking in on the cash through his high-paying gig. You two can share about how you earn your money so that you\u2019ll understand each other\u2019s relationship with finances. Having this talk in your relationship\u2019s early stages prepares you for unpredictable scenarios, such as: Losing a job Returning to school\/pursuing another degree Becoming a stay-at-home parent There\u2019s no telling what tomorrow holds for both your relationship and finances. Knowing your partner\u2019s practices, thoughts, and feelings about each other\u2019s earnings can help you both in planning for your future together. 7. No imposing allowed! If you\u2019ve got your money matters figured out, that\u2019s great! However, it doesn\u2019t mean that your partner has to follow your tactics to the tee. What if he or she isn\u2019t into cryptocurrency and credit cards? Financial space exists in relationships, even if you two have joint accounts. Having financial freedom can help you two ugly fights and resentments. Besides, who wants their partners to breathe down on their necks when it comes to personal savings?  Don\u2019t convince them to do something they\u2019re not comfortable with. Yes, you want what\u2019s best for your partner\u2019s financial health. But, some ideas can be extreme for them. If you two understand what works for each other, you\u2019ll be fine. Talking about money is never easy in relationships\u2014especially if you two are still starting out. Tread carefully with trust and transparency if you choose to talk about money in a new relationship. Good luck!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1310,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mo_disable_npp":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Talk About Money In A New Relationship - The TrulyFilipino Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When it's time for you to have the Big Talk about money in a new relationship, let TrulyFilipino break down the steps for you.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/talk-about-money-in-a-new-relationship\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Talk About Money In A New Relationship - The TrulyFilipino Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When it's time for you to have the Big Talk about money in a new relationship, let TrulyFilipino break down the steps for you.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/talk-about-money-in-a-new-relationship\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"The TrulyFilipino Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/TrulyFilipinas\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-07-13T05:16:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2021-05-18T05:17:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/talk-about-money-in-a-new-relationship.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1300\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"kit\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@TrulyFilipina\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@TrulyFilipina\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"kit\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/talk-about-money-in-a-new-relationship\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/talk-about-money-in-a-new-relationship\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"kit\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/b6311331a5b37fd38ac8176eb25bc228\"},\"headline\":\"How to Talk About Money In A New Relationship\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-07-13T05:16:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2021-05-18T05:17:55+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/talk-about-money-in-a-new-relationship\/\"},\"wordCount\":1758,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/#organization\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/talk-about-money-in-a-new-relationship\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.trulyfilipino.com\/blog\/talk-about-money-in-a-new-relationship\/\",\"name\":\"How to Talk About Money In A New Relationship - 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