Jealousy is something that no one wants to experience. However, jealousy is an emotion that almost all of us will experience at some point in our lives. Jealousy isn’t a huge problem when it shows up once in a while; the problem is when it takes over everything we do and can no longer control it. It can be unsettling to witness what occurs when we let our jealousy control our emotions and affect our perceptions of ourselves and the world around us. Learning how to cope with jealousy in healthy, adaptive ways is vital, from our connections to our professional careers to our dating life. And trust us when we say that jealousy when online dating is one of the worst feelings in the world.
It’s challenging to feel jealous when online dating. Nobody likes to worry about losing their significant other, especially if it’s because of someone specific in their life. Online dating jealousy can usually develop when your significant other begins making friends in their real-life who you don’t know at all. It stems from a feeling of being left out of their lives. Jealousy in a relationship is the worry of him or her encountering someone who will pique their interest more than you do. It happens all the time. We’ve all had it happen to us. However, there are ways to overcome those emotions.
If you’re new to online dating, here is how you can overcome jealousy when online dating.
10 Ways You Can Beat Online Dating Jealousy
1. Recognize your feelings
No matter how envious we are, we may discover ways to relax and return to ourselves. To do so, we must first acknowledge and accept our feelings with compassion.
Accepting you have an issue is the first step in overcoming online dating jealousy. Even if your jealousy isn’t as severe as addiction, it’s necessary to address your emotions.
To overcome jealousy, you need to recognize that you are having feelings about it. When you are honest with yourself, you’ll be able to talk to your partner openly about your thoughts and emotions.
2. Let your partner know how you’re feeling
It’s difficult to acknowledge you’re jealous, but talking about it can help you communicate more effectively. Sure, you’ll be more emotional, but you won’t be alone in your swirling thoughts. Get to the bottom of the problem. Whether the person you’re seeing is chatting with someone else or they’re spending time with friends, and they’re too busy to talk to you, say something now, or eternally hold your peace.
Communication is essential, especially when it comes to online dating. When you talk about the circumstance and accept your feelings, you’ll be one step closer to solving the problem. You shouldn’t have to do it by yourself.
3. Pay attention to your partner
If you’ve allowed your jealousy to grow, or even if you haven’t, paying attention to your partner is an essential step when it comes to overcoming online dating jealousy. Allow yourself to take deep breaths if you’re furious, and only have this discussion with your partner when you’re ready.
Suppose you approach the matter with hatred and bitterness. In that case, you are more likely to put your significant other on edge, which only makes resolving the jealousy issue more complicated. You can take some time to contemplate after your partner has finished telling his or her side of the story. But only after you’ve listened to what they have to say!
4. Don’t try to make them jealous in return
It’s typically in our nature to try to make someone jealous if they have done something similar to us. If your significant other has made you jealous—whether you’re casually dating or in a committed relationship—giving them a taste of what you’re feeling is never a good idea. You know that you don’t have time for games, so don’t partake in them. Trying to make the other person jealous can rapidly backfire and send the wrong message, regardless of how casual your relationship is.
It’s easy to choose to hurt your partner or make them feel the way you’re feeling right now, but what benefit would it do? Retribution is not the answer if you want to solve your relationship’s jealousy problem. Again, openly talk to your significant other and be honest about your emotions.
5. Make an effort not to dwell on it
It’s pretty easy to spend hours examining people’s social media accounts when you’re feeling jealous. Are you envious of your partner’s friendship with a coworker?
The worst thing you can do for yourself is go online and search for that person’s background. It’s tempting, perhaps even the most desirable thing in the world, but try to resist seeking something that would aggravate you even more.
Read more: 10 Unique Ways Filipinos Show Their Love
6. Don’t compare yourself to them
If you happen to meet the person you’re envious of or see them online while browsing through dozens of Instagram photos, try not to compare yourself to them. Trying to figure out if your lover prefers blondes to brunettes or knowing that this individual has a Master’s degree while you only have a Bachelor’s, accomplishes nothing beneficial. “Comparison is the thief of joy,” as the saying goes.
7. Allow yourself to be gracious
You may still feel envious of other people’s lives. You can still have doubts about your significant other’s intentions and worry if he or she is in love with someone else.
It’s okay to let these emotions enter your head as long as you try to overcome them. Thoughts can come and go quickly. Speak your thoughts, practice self-control, and, in the end, offer yourself grace while deciding what to do next.
If your significant other is rude, dismissive, and blatantly flirting with other people, allow yourself to be outraged, furious, and have the talk before walking out. You deserve it.
8. Speak with someone you trust
Jealousy is a complicated and powerful feeling. It can make you feel bad when you feel jealous when online dating. It can offer you a slightly distorted perception of reality at times. You could be wondering if the nonverbal flirting you witnessed was real. When you express your concerns to a trusted third party, the situation can become less terrifying, and you can gain some insight.
When something like jealousy takes hold, it’s essential to find the best person to talk to and a healthy outlet for our feelings. The kind of companions we want to open up to regarding our jealousy are those who create a positive side of ourselves and encourage us to stop brooding or slipping further into our sorrows.
It’s okay to vent to these people as long as we let out our unreasonable thoughts and sentiments while also realizing that they’re excessive and irrational. Only when this procedure relieves us of the emotions and allows us to go on and make reasonable decisions does it function. This can help us make sense of our emotions and gain control over them while also allowing us to act in more healthy and appropriate ways.
9. Reassess your unhealthy habits
Things like interrogating your partner, constantly inspecting their phone, and checking out their ex on social media will only make you more worried and anxious, especially if you don’t find anything. Rather than reassure you, these habits make things worse.
These coping tactics will not only drive away your significant other but will also destroy the connection that you have built together. Even if these habits have helped you discover a cheating ex in the past, you still must be careful that snooping doesn’t become an unhealthy habit that progressively takes over your life.
10. Trust your instincts
Jealousy can sometimes seem like high-waisted pants after devouring a heavy meal. It’s time to reconsider the issue if you feel it in the pit of your stomach, ready to explode into violent wrath. Trust your instincts: you may need to clarify your boundaries. Nobody deserves to feel anxious and be treated like nothing.
If your gut is right, talk to your partner and if things don’t improve, find yourself someone who will treat you better. Give yourself some time to reflect, and then get back on the game. Check out online dating sites like TrulyFilipino to form genuine connections with other users who have the same faith as you. Don’t waste your time giving chances to someone who doesn’t deserve you. Instead, find someone who will bring out the best in you.
Jealousy is a complex emotion to deal with. It’s a normal, universal emotion that no one wants to experience. However, it might help you recognize how important a partner is to you or help you spot any red flags. When you start to feel envious at varying times in your relationship, it’s important to keep in mind that this is a problem that you can overcome. You may overcome envious feelings by communicating with your significant other, expressing yourself, and rejecting temptation. You got this!