First dates are usually very awkward because it’s the first time you’re physically meeting someone you have been speaking with, probably on dating websites like TrulyFilipino. We all have those tiny insecurities, and so it is natural to get nervous about making a good first impression. This is especially true if you’re on first dates with Filipinos because there are a lot of cultural differences when it comes to dating. Little details, like whether to use cutlery or not and how you greet the other person, could totally ruin your date!
What helps, as we always like to say, is a little research. Doing your homework and getting to understand the Filipino relationships culture beforehand goes a long way in establishing a mutual understanding that can significantly improve your date! Plus, that way, you can even skip the awkward glares and long silences because you’d have presented yourself as someone interested enough to have learned about their culture. Honestly, it’s an excellent way to put your best foot forward.
Luckily for you, we have all the answers to the questions you need. How do you prevent your first date with a Filipino from being a disaster for both of you? Let’s give you a few valuable tips. Reading this article to the end equals doing your “homework” and improving your chances of having a decent date with a Filipino.
What You Should and Shouldn’t Do On A First Date
1. Do: Look Good; Don’t: Be Shabby
From New York to Timbuktu to the Philippines, everyone likes to be seen with a presentable, well-put-together person. If you’re going on first dates with Filipinos looking unkempt, you’re sending a message that you didn’t care enough to fix your appearance, and you don’t care about making a good impression on the person you’re going to meet. That’s a red flag, and it can even insult your date. That’s also a sure way to ensure that you won’t get a second date.
To avoid that, put on clean, fresh clothes. Spritz on some cologne for an extra touch. Then fix your hair and your breath (you never want to be the person whose breath smells like garlic or cigarettes – that’s a terrible impression). Pop some mints to be sure you have the fresh breath part covered. Wear good shoes that won’t go kaput on you if you two decide to stroll down a few blocks. Once you’ve done all of these, you’re good to go. That’s one step checked. Let’s move to the other ones.
2. Do: Meet in public; Don’t: Be overly suggestive
Most first dates with Filipinos revolve around eating out or doing something casual and fun like seeing a movie or going to a park. If you want to think outside the box and do something more creative, that’s okay, but our advice is to keep it simple and meet at a public place. It doesn’t matter how well you think you know this person because you have probably been chatting online. People can be different from what they seem to be online, and you may want to be sure if you have a real physical connection before you take things to the next level.
We have to warn you. Don’t try to get too touchy-feely with a Filipina (Filipino woman) on the first date. Filipinas are very conservative because the Filipina relationships culture is very modest. Most Filipinas are very shy, even, and if they are physically interested in you, they may not show it for fear of being seen as easy or cheap. If you make an impulsive move because that’s the way you’re used to, you may get a smarting slap on the face because she felt that you did not respect her.
Read the energy in the room and the vibe between you two, or ask if you have to, but don’t make a physical or sexual move on the first date. Take that as a rule of thumb for Filipino dating etiquette.
Make your Filipina date feel safe and comfortable with you. Don’t make intrusive requests like asking her to turn off her phone (seriously, this has happened) because then she will get suspicious of your intentions and may outrightly leave or be defensive throughout the date. Believe us – that will not be fun.
3. Do: Infuse Humor Into the Conversation; Don’t: Make jokes about family or religion
Filipinas like a good laugh, and hey, who doesn’t? If you keep things light and jovial, you will break the ice a lot faster. You can make jokes about the mishaps that happened when you first arrived in the city because you didn’t understand the culture. If she is good-humored, it would be an excellent way to bond over relatable jokes, and also a way to learn from her and get her to open up, because she’ll point out what mistakes you made and how to get accustomed to their lifestyle. That’s a great icebreaker if you’ve been wondering what to say to a Filipino on a date. You’re welcome.
However, don’t make insensitive remarks or jokes about her family (who you may have met if you picked your date from her home). Filipino families are very protective of their children, even when they’re all grown up. So don’t make jokes about her family, or the condition of their home. You shouldn’t make jokes about your own family, either. Filipinos are very family-oriented, so they won’t take to you if you seem like you take yours lightly. Don’t make jokes about the church or the Christian religion: Filipinos are super religious and won’t take any Pope-slander lightly.
4. Do: Be curious; Don’t: Be intrusive
First dates with Filipinos are about getting to know each other, so it is just normal to ask questions. However, keep the questions to general things like favorites, hobbies, experiences, and opinions of your chosen meeting place. We guarantee that you can get to know someone even by understanding the choice of their preferences alone. You don’t have to do an interrogative session to learn about someone’s past.
Avoid intrusive questions about past relationships, sexual experiences, or other personal information that will only embarrass them. Keep things simple and leave the interrogative questioning to the CIA. If you make it feel like an interview, the other person will probably feel uncomfortable, and the date will only go downhill from there.
5. Do: Ask for her preferences before ordering; Don’t: Assume you know what she likes
Because you’re meeting with someone from a different background from yours, don’t assume that your tastes in food or drinks would align. So don’t order for the other person or try to get them to eat the same things as you. Respect each other’s preferences.
Do not ply her with drinks. The majority of Filipina ladies, especially those from conservative families, rarely drink, if at all. A glass or two of alcohol may mean nothing to the women in your country, but for somebody not used to it, that’s a different story altogether. If you are eating out, make sure that you bring your table manners out with you. It is a big turn off for a Filipina lady to see you talking with a mouthful, or slurp your drinks. Let’s be honest, that’s a universal turnoff for any person on a date.
Oh, and one more thing, in the unspoken rules of first dates with Filipinos, the check is on the man. Filipinas will expect you to pick the bill. If you’re looking to go Dutch, maybe head to the Netherlands.
6. Do: Keep it classy; Don’t: Be rude, even if the date didn’t go well
If you picked your date from home, drop her back home. If you didn’t, ensure she gets home safely. Be kind and polite and express your feelings about the date. If you want to go on succeeding dates, the way you handle this one would determine that.
Now, here’s a question we get a lot about how to date a Filipino. To kiss or not to kiss? We don’t advise that you go in for a goodnight kiss after a date with a Filipina. She’s very likely to turn her head away because, as we stated before, Filipino women are very conservative.
Even if she wants to kiss you, she wouldn’t. Because Filipino women don’t like to be seen as easy or cheap, they don’t give in to physical affection quickly. Even after the first date, she may still be cold and not that forthcoming; Filipinas like to play hard to get.
We hope we’ve given you enough helpful tips on how to ace first dates with Filipinos and enjoy the experience every step of the way! For more helpful tips and insider knowledge, head over to our Truly Filipino blog where you can find a variety of different topics.